Bishop Thomas John Paprocki | Diocese of Springfield

When someone dies, it is common to hear loved ones and ministers say, “They are better off now, with Jesus in heaven.” For Catholics who believe in purgatory, finding words of sympathy that respect this belief without causing disagreement can be challenging.

Judy from Springfield raised this concern. Father John Titus responded by emphasizing the importance of grieving with hope. He referenced St. Paul’s message to the Corinthians: “We cannot imagine ‘what God has prepared for those who love him’” (1 Cor. 2:9). Additionally, he cited 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14: “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, about those who have fallen asleep, so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”

Father Titus noted that while Catholics believe in purgatory and pray for the deceased, certainty about an individual's presence in heaven is reserved for canonized saints. He acknowledged that many people find comfort in believing their loved ones are "home in heaven" and encouraged embracing such consolations.

He explained the Catholic practice of praying for the dead as rooted in tradition from Jewish ancestors to early Christians and through Eucharistic celebrations. This practice presumes purgatory since souls in heaven do not need prayers and those in hell are beyond help.

To avoid debates about purgatory during times of grief, Father Titus suggested saying, “I am sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.” This phrasing includes both living family members and the deceased without explicitly mentioning purgatory.

Finally, Father Titus shared a traditional Catholic prayer for the deceased:

"Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen."

Father John Titus serves as pastor at Immaculate Conception Parish in Mattoon and St. Columcille Parish in Sullivan.