Rev. James D. Conley, D.D., S.T.L. | Diocese of Lincoln website

The Immaculate Heart of Mary Counseling Center (IHMCC) has introduced discernment counseling, a therapeutic approach aimed at couples facing potential divorce where one partner is uncertain about saving the marriage. This new form of therapy allows couples to pause and evaluate their contributions to marital issues, as well as explore future options for their relationship.

Discernment counseling was developed by Dr. Bill Doherty from the Doherty Relationship Institute. His research indicates that many couples experience ambivalence about divorce even after initiating the process. One study found that approximately 30% of individuals with children who are going through a divorce still harbor hope for reconciliation and are interested in seeking help.

A study conducted on 100 discernment counseling cases revealed that nearly half of the couples chose to pursue intensive marital counseling instead of proceeding with divorce. About 42% opted for separation or divorce, while a small percentage decided to remain together without further counseling. An updated analysis involving 952 cases showed similar trends: 51% chose marital counseling, 30% opted for separation or divorce, and 19% continued their marriage without additional intervention.

The goals of discernment counseling include helping spouses gain clarity and confidence regarding their relationship's future direction. The process involves individual sessions with each spouse to reflect on personal contributions to marital issues and consider possible solutions. Typically lasting between one and seven sessions, this short-term therapy aims to avoid ineffective long-term couples therapy.

Discernment counseling is especially beneficial for those coming from unsuccessful traditional couples' therapy sessions or those influenced by family and friends taking sides in their conflict. By focusing on understanding personal roles in marital problems, IHMCC hopes to provide mixed-agenda couples an opportunity to address underlying issues constructively.